October 4-10 is Mental Illness
Awareness Week and this year’s theme is #IamStigmaFree. From www.nami.org/miaw : “Being
Stigma Free means learning about and educating others on mental illness,
focusing on connecting with people to see each other as individuals and not a
diagnosis, and most importantly, taking action on mental health issues and
taking the StigmaFree pledge.”
As someone with a
mental illness living a world without stigma is something important to me. I
make plans to get my very own semicolon tattoo and am always willing to start a
conversation about mental illness. I think we need to talk more. We need to
open up and explain and see ourselves as a “teachable moment”, now I understand
if you are private person and prefer not to discuss, or think that it is none
of someone’s damn business. What I don’t want to see is shame over something
that you have no control over. That is part of the conversation too.
The
first step in fighting stigma is an open dialogue. We need to talk about it till
mental illness becomes as normal as the common cold. We need to let people know
that there is nothing to fear. That the people that are experiencing mental
illness are not dangerous, in fact people with mental illness are more likely
to be the victims of crime than commit them. So we need to end the stereotypes
by showing that there is nothing to fear, by showing that we are just like
anyone else.
So stand up and say “I have a mental
illness and I am proud.” Go out and get that semicolon tattoo. Write your
Congressman. Speak up in any way you can. Be an ally for a friend or family member
with a mental illness. Just do something to help break the stigma.
Today is the last day of Suicide
Awareness Month, so I thought I would leave on a personal note. Something
happened to me last night that inspired this post. I was chatting with a friend
on Skype when she casually tells me “see you next time, I’m ODing tonight” to
which I responded on “on what?” and she said “Pills and Booze.” At first I
thought she was being sarcastic, but a short bit of conversation and I knew she
was serious. At that point I switched into Mother Bear mode and was going to
protect my cub at all cost. This friend and I have known each other for over 15
years and we have been through a lot together, and honestly I can’t imagine my
life without her.
We must
have gone back and forth for over 45 minutes arguing about how her life was
worth living, but I was going to do anything to prevent her from swallowing
those pills. At one point she told me that she “prayed for death” and me, who
is usually pretty emotionless felt a sadness that I just can’t relate in words.
There is part of me that understands the grip that Mental Illness holds on a
person, the thoughts that it makes you think, and the things that just seem
like a good idea. So as much as her thoughts saddened me I could understand
where she was coming from. In the time that I battled with her demons I was
reminded of how I felt during my own attempt.
My
friend also highlights the stigma behind mental illness because she feels
sometimes that doesn’t need help and can go it alone. She would probably be
very angry at me for sharing this story, but I think that it is one that needs
to be told, because it is proof that you can’t go it alone. You need a battle
buddy to help you through the rough times, and professional help to get you
through the everyday. That when you are in crisis it is okay to reach out for a
helping hand. My friend is alive, thanks to passing out before she could
swallow the pills, but she is still a stubborn mule who refuses to reach out
for the proper help, but I know I will always be there for her.
This video and my own personal experiences inspired this
post:
I don’t have to say it, but I will there is a stigma with
mental illness. There is this belief that it’s all in your head, and that you
can just shake it off. I can’t tell you the number of times I was told that my
anxiety problems were nothing but a “bad day”, or that I just needed to “get
out more.” You wouldn’t tell someone with a broken leg to just “walk it off” so
why would you tell someone suffering from depression to just smile more?
I think the answer to this question is simple, and it’s
because mental illness is, in essence all in our head. It’s something
intangible, you can see when someone has the flu, or a broken leg, they visibly
look sick, but for a large percentage of those of mental illness we simply
don’t look sick. I know there are exceptions to this rule, and that there are
people who do show physical signs of mental illness, but a larger majority of
people are high functioning and show no physical or outward signs of their
illness. If someone sneezes we give them a tissue, we may even make them
chicken soup, but we can’t take that same route for someone with mental
illness, there is no tissue that can wipe away depression, nor is there soup
that can repair a chemical misfire that makes one manic.
There is also the medical community, having a mental illness
is a difficult road to navigate. First there is insurance, assuming you have
some, you have to find out if it covers mental health services. That’s the
first negative, the first way we treat mental illness different from physical
illness. I don’t go to my doctor and wonder if they’re going to cover the flu,
or be concerned if I broke my leg that suddenly I wouldn’t be able to get
coverage anymore. This however is how it can feel for someone with mental
illness, they wonder first if they can get treatment, and then they wonder if
the medication prescribed for that treatment will be covered under their
prescription drug plans. Now if you don’t have insurance or are dependent on
state or federally sponsored programs this can be an even trickier road to
navigate. Medicaid is the largest payer for behavioral health services in the
country, but low state reimbursement rates drive providers away from the
program. Leaving coverage gaps that can prevent someone from getting the care
that they need.
Then sometimes it is the patient themselves that gets in the
way, I know this one from personal experience. I was sick a long time before I
got diagnosed and there were times when I told myself that there was nothing
wrong with me or that I could handle it myself. This is where the stigma is the
worse, because we can truly be our own worst enemies. I remember a day I went to see my primary
doctor and was talking about my panic attacks and he gave me this questionnaire
to fill out and one of the questions was something like do you ever feel like
things are going crazy, and I looked at him and said “doesn’t everyone feel
that way sometimes?” and he said no, and told me that I was probably suffering
from some depression. I remember feeling like my world just collapsed, “Me,
depression, no way.” I thought. I drove home thinking I couldn’t be depressed,
I was happy and even if I was depressed I didn’t need pills I just needed to be
happier. It was two months later that I had my first suicide attempt and my
eyes were opened that I couldn’t go this road alone. Several years and several
diagnoses later I look back at that experience and see that I looked at mental
illness with a stigma, with a fear that I would be one of “those people”, but I
now know that’s not true. Now I am just another person who has a mental
illness. I look just like the “normal” people.
It’s time to break the cycle, the cycle of stigma. It’s time
for those of us with mental illnesses to stand tall, to show that were not a
stereotype, that were not dangerous, that were not all criminals, to show that
we have families, and finally to show that we are more than our illness. I
don’t introduce myself as a person with a mental illness, I merely introduce
myself as me. There is no asterisk next to my name that redirects to some fine
print that says: has a mental illness. It’s time for us to show that for every
misconception there is someone holding down a job, for every piece of
misinformation there is a mother or father raising a family, and for every time
someone says “those people” there is a friend or a lover who is just trying to
make it through the day.
So if you are struggling don’t be afraid to reach out, to a
friend, a family member, or medical professional. There’s nothing to be afraid
of, and it’s not your fault, the brain is a funny place, and a few chemical
misfires can cause strange things to happen. Thankfully medical science has
come a long way and whether its therapy or psychopharmacology there’s something
out there that can help you. The biggest, and greatest thing that I can tell
you is that you’re not alone there is a world filled with people that are
having experiences similar to yours, and there are places to reach out to find
people who will understand.
